Have you ever experienced something upsetting
and you begin to re-play the scene over in your head?
Does it go on repeat in your brain for minutes,
hours, days and into your nights?
Maybe it was something a family member
said to you, did to you,
or something you said, did or witnessed.
Maybe it was a meeting at work that went sideways
or an interaction with a colleague, co-worker, teacher or friend.
Or maybe it was the death of a love one, a long illness, sudden collapse or accident.
Some people call it Brooding or Ruminating.
Repetitve thoughts, often negative, going on a loop.
I am not talking about post-traumatic stress syndrome here
-that type of rumination is different-
Researchers tell us that rumination can be useful and healthy at times and it can also lead into ‘maladaptive’ coping.
(M. Stroebe, 2010, Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement)
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When Rumination is healthy:
It allows us time for insight
-into ourselves and our situation-
It provides space
-devoted to think about our actions, speech, hopes and dreams-
It helps us to consider others
-and how we relate to them-
It can help us move towards
-a solution, resolution and self-compassion-
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When Rumination becomes unhealthy:
It begins to take over our lives
-we stop ‘feeling feels’- we may get stuck-
-in one thought-one feeling-
It seeps into our evenings
-disturbs our sleep-
It prevents us from moving forward
-no longer engage in life-
It leads to unhealthy self-talk
It doesn’t resolve anything
-we get stuck in ‘tunnel thinking’-
So, what can you do when you find yourself
ruminating and it’s getting you into an unhealthy place?
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Ask yourself these questions:
What am I not doing
because my attention is caught up in this rumination?
What would I be experiencing
if I were not stuck in my thoughts?
What feelings am I trying to avoid?
Can I allow myself to feel the feels,
release them and move towards a plan of action,
or create mantras of self-compassion?
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Rumination is real, it can be healthy and it can lead us into a place of ‘stuck-ness’
If you would like to talk with someone to help you get un-stuck,
consider calling a counselor.